Don't mind this, I'm mindless

Can't you tell I'm dead tired?
No ideas in her head, gone and flushed away - with all those few remains, I've managed myself.
Think of it as depressing maybe even shocking
but I can surely bet: You must feel the same.
Been ages now (just a few years but in my heart time lasts so much more)
Done with the idiotic self absorbed mindless consuming asswholes, oh wait I'm one of them.
If I could puke on you trust me I would,
literally and idealisticly. Really.
But my heart is too kind to take you as a gag, told you I'm egocentric.

Lately I've been told there is a use to all this, the pure way sure could be THE way
I can believe in that. Any case it sure is a pretty lie...
Maybe it's just straight forward propaganda anti drug abuse,
sure I can call it propaganda, it's (in this case) positive brain wash towards a lifestyle
and there could be some political/monetary suit behind it,
of whom I don't know shit of.
Anyway, don't mind this, I don't mind this
what bothers me right now is much more deeper
or at least I suspect it is.

I been tired! I been tired! Heck, I've been tired.
P-L-E-A-S-E, let's make it past tense
cuz I'm done.
Pity, useless responsability, mixed morals
Lack of search.

I need to care,
need to try,
give it a try, at least this once.

What have I got to loose? If it actually means nothing I can always go back to not caring.
The only question is, when is it too soon to quit?

Gonna start with the superficial part in my self,
a healthy core wont soar.
cuz yeah man,
T-I-R-E-D spells it.

Been asking for the sooner dead, guess what? This is it.
Kill my fears
Kill my dependency
Kiss kiss kill kill.

Can I spit this out?

Es hora q reconozcas quien eres tu. Una despistada curiosa.... La constante te acerca a la respuesta. Si te escondes esta hara lo mismo. Prueba desde el lado honesto. Todo es aplicable.

sweet november

She is a fucking lesbian you know? A total dike.
She says that when she is with her, its like being home.

The oddity in the fact layed in the casual manner we pursued eachselfs.
Wonder about the force which caused the attraction, how did you catch my eye?
Without any sure intention but experimentation we layed
soon it wasn't only a play.

Must be deeper than what we can easily sense.
You are my cherub and I'll make sure to cherish
every which part

Still Expecting

Soon it will be November, soon i'll have something to write about.
The time is ending
all this snoozing n loosing
better start juicing!

I thought I had been falling
guess at least I've been learning:
Never to trust those who wont follow a heart. Their own heart.
Its not bad to plan.
Go ahead! Draw a map, I do it daily
just make sure you got the right compass.

wreck what u have n run
he's gotta worry: how full my pocket is?
how much more shit can my body get
the vain vices,
mudane prices
try to drain the pain
again you just feign


I really wanted to fall
feel what it is to be whole
now i gotta crawl
where is Mr. Stahl?

It will ring if you dial

touch + heart

As soon as you spot her you can tell what a dirty little bitch she really is. She may try to cover it, try as she might but there is no use. She's got the stoolie stare.

"Oh well, yeah. I’m sort of a masoquist." Sort of? Whatever, this rattle of hers could be interesting. With her all I can lose is my time and that's quite ok with me. The nodding of my head is her cue; I've decided to play along.

"Don't get me wrong. I don't cut myself."

"You don’t?" Truly I’m puzzled. Why is she telling me this anyway?

"I like some spanky every now and then" She tells me this followed with a grin.

"When it comes to exploring each other’s body I simply can’t wait. I mean, I love falling for IT. For him. When I’m his that’s all I can think of. n I’m eager to show him I’m his.” She smiles batting her eyes once she finishes the sentence.

“What are you saying?” Ok so this bitch is a little wacked. Spanking and love. She couldn’t really think they’ve got something to do.

“I mean I wanna be tagged by him. Love never lasts forever, moments fade. I want his mark forever.”
“I could leave you lovely scars, love.” I grunt, she laughs. “Tell me sweetheart, why are you so keen on this? There are many ways to leave mark. What kind of freak are you?”
Now she looks down “I don’t know” she shrugs “They can only see with their eyes. I can’t find the way to touch a heart.”
“But you love them don’t you?”
“I love you and I want your mark.”

black coffee

Black coffee, she is never in style
washed out nail polish in a hand thats not thin, not chub,not long, not short.
Everything is fed with a fork
in a town across a mile.

Hush, she said. i plead you to stay.
He had done his bags, packed the boxer briefs she never dared to wash.
one sip to his cigarrette, the stink will stay maybe forever
in that room, in that mind, in that heart.

The rooms been emptied, everything torn and thrashed
no ideas in her head, all actions were flushed.
She wont say it but
she feels kind of sorry
for there was no glory
this time her lot
was lost

GYE

Crick Crack- Aqui todo cruje y toda puerta aulla. Duermo en la cama de un pequeño montruo de pelos largos y sonrisa sarcasticafrente a un ventilador q no huye a los minusculos, aquellos q vienen noche tras noche por otra probadita.
Esta llena de puntos rojosy agotamiento, por aca nada me divierte, pero aun deseo quedarme. Deseo comprender como esq uds. viven, ¿Como lo soportan?
Por aqui todo se altera, ese instincto salvaje esta mas y mas presente. NO hay para mas... cero confianza, cero amistad, cero intelecto...
millares y millares de mini vestidis q colores solidos envolviendo todo tipo de pierna, flaca, firme, rchoncha, etc.... ademas de milllares y millares de imitaciones de zapatos vans en los pies de niños, niñas y chicos... todos.
Aca a nadie le falta nada, sin auto no hay como sobrevivir, sn el auto te roban.... Quien te roba si esq a nadie le hace falta?.. .Esas 'otras' gentes son las q t roban. Las q andan con pistolas, esas te la pusieran por el culo y creeme q no lo disfrutarias.

Scratching places you're not supposed to scratch.

lil blue pill

Blue pill,
Can you tell me how he feels?
and whatever it is that he conceals.
You have been inside, in a place i cant ever reach, at least not in the way you did.
You've influenced his breathing, his thinking,
numbed away the excruciating pain he had been feeling,
this and so much more you can do when u are inside him.
Will you make him your slave or just let him toss you away?
Will you introduce him to your girly friends,
allow him to taste you all n enter to that dark place?

It is you who like many others took what i love the most
clouded they're ways into that liberal dilusion
made them think they were astray
when actually they were hanging by your chain.

If there was anytone to envy that would be you
but that too I cant, that too I wont
cuz you wont ever know the difference
wont ever value who has savoured you
you cant feel how his tongue licks, not the way I did.
You wont ever bring the light in him
and that is what Im aiming for.

I cant love a fool who doesnt know what freedom really is
He took you, you worked your magic
He knows how meaningless you really are.
I am flesh n bone, soul n mind
light n dark.
He has been inside me
n i do know how that feels.

Blue pill you have been created just like many others
to do nothing more but make us numb.

Bus Fare

In this story boy never gets to meet the girl he had spotted
She was crossing the street like a child Singing loud fearlessly Ive Got You Under My Skin
she pays her bus fare
and now she becomes hush, transformed with her mask... cuz she has spotted him.
This very well dressed lay down foreign boy, lush, lust.... she thinks 'Yummy.'
She stares for a second time, just to make sure this beautiful figure was real
it definitely is, she has caught him scratching nastily his nouse. So he is human after all!
She pretends to be disgusted, and at the same time pretends to be polite n pretends she didnt see him see her while he was scratching his cute little nouse... They both pretend
but eyes have met, they both know.
They get in the same bus headed to the same station Rio Coca
She stands near the door still hush, still with her mask on
He stands real near her and starts singing a Cat Stevens song to her ear
She bites her lips constraining herself, Oh how she wishes she knew what to say! What to do!
He gives it a second shot, this time he decides to be more obvious
and sings to her ear with the most beautiful raspy manlike voice
the same song she had sang minutes ago...
Oh the way her heart melts! Sexi thoughts come to her mind
Oh how she wishes he would go astray and just touch her in that same bus in that same instant!
how she wishes the world was only theirs including that bus just for a while...
She smiles wide open, thinking he saw her smile she looks the other way n gives him her back.
The bus is so crowded, they are so near
she sighs... (she always sighs!)
He blows air to her neck... OH HOW SHE WISHES THAT SWEET WIND WOULD NEVER END!
bus gets more crowded, people start pushing they're way in n out
boy n girl are separated now....
Oh how she wishes he gets down in the same stop she's gonna get down
oh how she wishes that if it happens she stops being so freaking shy n does something!
So she starts thinking of this she could do,
'if this was a movie I'd wait for him in the way out n say something clever like .... I cant think of anything clever, so I'd say something like "I heard you were singing that Frank Sinatra song"... what language does he speak? Is he from here or from somewhere else? Can I make that line sound clever in my native language? "Te oí cantar esa cancion de Frank Sinatra I Got You Under My Skin..." '
For some reason she didnt think it sounded clever, to her it sounded SO BAD! (the line, his singing took her to that other side of the moon)
They arrive to the last stop.. so they were actually headed to the same direction THANK GOD!
Its time to get off, so she gets of thinking of a smooth way to catch him in the exit n hope he has something clever to say....
but the crowd gets off too n she didnt even see him
She lost her chance, now he is gone n she has to continue her route home...

guess shell always be from the outside of well, almost everything....

tool

She will always be true to her compromise
it's a rat race what she is living
and her goal is the prize.
Yes, she will slither and doom
anything that comes in between.
We are mere tools to entertain her quick wit
there is no use in locking yourself
from her
'cuz the paths have already crossed.
No deviations in strategy.
Of course she doesn't believe (in any)
but there is no use
but to serve whatever purpose.
Her compromise is truth.

the coming of going
deviations overwhelm my brain
want my decisions to be final
my parts dont ever coincide nor collide
heart n mind we*re so far apart
take a chance, make a move
wont you fucking JUMP?
all i really want is to dance
you could lead the way
either way
dont let me hesitate

...n then he was gone with the night lights