A black bird appeared to me, it seemed to be a crow. Its feathers were so black that as the moonlight hit on them you could see them sparkle white. The bird was big and the touch of his wings with the cool night breeze emitted a beautiful sound. This continuous movement completed a wonderful sad song.
At the moment I couldnt understand the meaning, it caught me by surprise. I just saw this animal reflection in awe. I like crows in the same way I like animals that ought to be respected and feared. Snakes, bears, wolfs and jellyfish. The crow is just the same. My crow was ethereal.
That night as I went to bed my heart pounded hard in a steady pace. I was fearfull, mainly because I didnt understand the origin of this fear. I said to myself -"Fuck it. You've just heard a beutiful song, and you've just seen a bird. And what a bird!" The night is filled with magic.
A few days had to pass in order to comprehend that this crow was mine. It was not chance. It was not luck. What seemed to be a sporadic delight was actually a warning.
Watch out, silly girl, you ought to be a woman. Feed me, for I am you and I can see you are lacking. Time can fade your body away but the spirit remains. Care girl. Grow girl. You ought to be a woman. Feed me or else.
Its words to me are now so clear. A crow is a dangerous animal. Feed him wrong, and he'll start poking your eyes. One by one, bit by peak. He will rip away all the flesh, eagerly, forcefully, and it will take long. And it will hurt.
Beautiful bird. Try to hear his song, try to understand. Once you know you ought to be exactly what you believe, you'll find communion with him. And both will fly! You can be his song and the warning can evolve into something deep and lovely. Soul is what they call it. But be careful. One single slip can be so meaningful, one single slip can become habit. Fall down once and you might stay down. Be nothing but raw meat.
For me it was too late. I saw him and I heard that awful warning but my brain is too thick to really get things. I knew all along I was doing wrong. Sleeping late, feeling depressed and tired of my friends, chores. Life, ugh. I can easily get lost in a day dream.
He was getting hungry. Hungry for knowledge, for adventure, for love, hungry for a purpose. Oh he was so patient! He, he would follow me through my day dreams! In wistful loving pace he would follow me!
Oh and Time! Oh it is so fast! Faster than me, faster than my crow time is! So when time took this sudden long leap we were left so far behind. Oh and he didn't like that. On that terrible moment he knew he had been loving somebody with a weak lame body. Oh but he was so furious! So he screamed his song in hurtful tone and he plunged his beak, hard! Straight into my chest and the flesh was ripped and the blood was draining and my eyes were full of "I'm so sorry"s.
And he was sorry too. And I swear I know this because he stopped and he cried and from that moment he never again sang any song. Just tears and strange crowish howls.
I still had a chance, to do something. Let him take me on flight. But I don't know, I just didn't. I was even weaker without that piece of flesh and that enormous amount of blood gone it was harder for me. So I didn't.
And I was so afraid I no longer had any daydreams just this regret and this "I'm so sorry"s. And he got really hungry and bored and frustrated of my lame body. And time that nasty creature was way passed us, mocking us! So my crow he couldn't hold it any longer. So I have this beautiful bird peaking hurtfully day by day into my vain sin. Oh I tell you it hurts.
And I don't know how much longer I'll be able to take it. Time is so far I bet it can't even recall us. I am out of flesh and so so sorry. But you, you are still young! Oh I'm telling you now, you must understand this. You must make music with your crow because if you just stand there. I mean really it is only but natural to move.
